Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mother's Day... or not

On Facebook my friend Toscha posted the following:
Forced holidays are sick. Forced holidays that completely ignore to the point of basically denying the existence of a significant portion of people are harmful and horrid and I hate them. If you have a mother, and if she treats you well, or if you are a mother and you treat your children well, go to town. But I am so fucking sick of having fairytale propaganda shoved down my throat. I don't think people realize how ubiquitous and cruel it is. Not just for those of us without mothers, but for people with abusive or negligent mothers, or women who are unable to bear children, or who have lost children. This is NOT a happy day for many people, and that's actually OK, and needs to be acknowledged.


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  2. I disagree with your friend and Mother's Day is no picnic for me because my mom's dead, both my grandmothers are dead, and my sister is dead having left no children. This year, even my cat died the night before, so basically I had nobody to celebrate Mother's Day with, but I decided to take some time to be good to my father, and then go to a pretty good lecture and contribute to a terrific organization in my neighborhood. I think that it's important to have recognized holidays because we often forget about the people in our lives or feel funny about showing them love. The day gives us a chance to remember and do something about it and to do something that we otherwise might feel afraid to do. So, there are presents and cards and such, but no one forces you to get or give them. It's the thought that counts and thought can be shown in a number of ways that do not involve purchasing anything. Mostly, just being there is a pretty good idea. It doesn't kill us to show our loved ones some love one or two days out of the year, even if it's just being there for them. If those people are not around or have failed us, it doesn't kill us to show someone else some attention and kindness. If you don't have a mom, or have a bad relationship with your mom, on mother's day you might try being good to a mom who lost her child or do something for a friend who might be an overwhelmed mom, or a dad who lost his wife.